Voice of an Empath
“We are not created or destroyed,
ignored or acknowledged.
We are present or absent.
I am present. I’m here. I see you.
I will wait for you.”
She is hurting and I can feel it. I can sense it through the distance between us. Like as if the air had carried her pain to me on the wisps of the wind. I gladly take it and hold it tight to my chest so that she can feel my love. I know she is hurting and I hurt with her, bare the load that she can not.
He is hurting right here in front of me and I can feel the weight heavy it’s hard and sharp and bitter with love. I reach out with all that I have in stillness. I can feel it. I know it is not mine and I gladly embrace it. It is an honor to hold space for all that he is.
I had once ran from this honor, this gift. Cursed its presence and annihilated myself in an attempt to evict everyone who had ever taken up residence in my heart.
“You are too much,
I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.
Stop, stop the pain,
stop the feeling,
stop it all.
I can’t see the lines between us.
I can’t find myself inside this,
inside what you have left here.
Get out. Leave.
The sign is up Do Not Disturb…
fully Disturbed.”
Then…
“Am I finally alone in here?
The echo is deafening and
I am in agony.
What is that?
The negative space burns my skin
and holds my head under
There is no air.
I am ruined and safe.
I am buried and missing.
I want
and I want to refuse the wanting.
I exist and that should be enough.
It’s not.
And I fear…
The wretch of feeling
is not worth the risk.”
Wait, wait…I’m here.
Be still…be you…I hear you .
I will allow one pebble, one rock, one brick to fall and I will know you… free me.
I see you. You are here, it’s all here, it’s all clear and light and whole and real and right and you, you are here.
I am here…I am on my way to you…wait…wait… thank you.
How do you allow and maintain? How do you feel and hold space simultaneously? How do you let it in and let it out again? You do. You just do. Because this is the why. Feeling is the why. Being is the why. The why that makes all whys real.
This is you and this is me.
We are whole and our wholeness is messy and light
and pain and joy
and real and now.
“I feel your pain.
From here in this place at this time,
for all the time needed.
I hold your heart,
I hold it in my heart.
I wear us proudly
as we are one and
whole and
now.”
“I am here.
I am in pain and
I embrace it all.
For it is mine as it is yours
and I will shed the doubt and solitude
for raw essential truth,
and we,
I and You
will be one.”
Pain is but one side, one piece. Pain is always around and although I once attempted to be free from it, stomped it, burned it, doused it… I wilted and burned and lost my Self in the process. Then I uncovered you there behind the wall, in the dark, waiting, knowing, loving. I pulled you close and felt the pain.
I see you. I know you. I will be here for you, my heart, my soul.
From this empath’s heart to yours…
Love always,
Dionne
All good things are rooted in love, laughter and learning!