What do we not do enough of?
Burnout, at least my 4 bouts with it, is rooted in one thing we don’t do enough of…And if I asked you what you don’t do enough of, your brain might show you a laundry list of what you already do too much of (including the laundry), so let’s flip the question on it’s side.
What do you need to do more of? Take a moment and create your own list.
Does what you just wrote down resemble your “secret” list? You know…the one that really just lives in your head. A list of things that you would do once you got ALL your “have tos” done. I have one too. Sometimes I even write down a few items off my secret should do list on to my actual “get shit done” list…but to be honest what I write is pretty vague, wishy washy and lukewarm. And as a result of this lack of specificity, (no big shocker) leads me to NOT do “self-care” “me-time”, “read” or “random blocked off time in calendar labelled Personal”.
So back to the beginning then…
What do we not do enough of to stay out of burnout land? First we do NOT spend enough time thinking about what we really want. Nor do we get specific enough with our requests. Let’s fix that. Instead of offering up a lukewarm “me-time” can you get a super clear picture in your mind of what your “me-time” will look like? Let’s do it together…try this on.
I want to spend 3.25 hours in my grey and pink cozy pants and the sweater I got for Christmas, reading Evolve Your Brain, thinking about what I read and if the inspiration hits, writing about what I read. I want to drink 2.5 cups of tea, 24 oz of water (and then go pee about 42 times). I want to eat a delicious salad with the beets I roasted and the blue cheese that thankfully no one else likes and then have 4 secret Christmas cookies from my stash in the freezer.
I want zero people to talk to me. I want to have the freedom to meditate if I feel compelled. I want to disconnect from all shoulds that emanate from my phone, my computer and my day planner. I will distance myself from “obligations” by stating to the people I live with, that I am off the grid and not available. I will reinforce this directive by stating, (in a neutral tone) that anyone that disregards this will be asked to leave and then promptly ignored. Emergencies that could override this, must include threat of death, gushing blood or…basically just threat of death.
I want to come through MY time feeling connected to my Self, refreshed and released from what I am not doing. I want to make myself a priority and hold the memory of how powerful and impactful this act was. I am worthy of 3.25 hours as often as I want them. I know that how I treat myself is how I teach others to treat me…I am responsible for the quality of MY time.
So, I’m thinking
You may not be in the habit yet of writing a 3 paragraph manifesto to outline your burnout prevention plan, your “me-time”. So let’s look at what you can do to make yourself a priority… (and keep burnout at bay)
- First What you would tell me if I asked you for the details/schedules that document, keep track of, and ensure your kids, your home, your work and your family get all that they need. I wonder if you would quickly offer me a list, a calendar, a variety of post-its and/or a day planner that looks like a pen exploded all over it. Hmmm intersting!
- Second What would you show me if I asked you to lay out all the details/schedule of “just for you” items? Will you offer up Pinterest boards, saved Facebook posts, a list of courses you’re interested in …or better yet a list of courses and ebooks you signed up for but haven’t started. I know you can tell me about the flashes of insight you’ve been having lately, (they’ve been coming more often and you’re not quite sure what to do with them) but can you show me what needs to happen for those flashes to become your reality?
- And last question… If you have put the effort in, and put what’s important to you on the schedule in full detail…is there anything that might push you down the priority ladder? Think of who in the past has shown up, asked for your time, needed you desperately and what you did as a result…If that were to happen now, will your habit of putting yourself last kick in? What would you be willing to do to keep YOU a priority in your own life?
Ok the real last question…
What would it take put as much care into you, as you put into everyone else? What are you willing to do to not fall into the burnout trap? Not sure…
To get you started… Remember these 3 quotes:
- Everything takes as long as it takes, be patient ~ Yours Truly ~
- Plan the work, then work the plan ~ Margaret Thatcher ~
- One step at a time ~ Lao Tzu ~
Then commit to doing the work:
- Notice the steps you take (Awaken the REAL you)
- Take advantage of the opportunities that arise (Embrace your inner Woman On Fire)
- Celebrate yourself along the way! (Ignite Your Awesomeness)
- (rinse + repeat)
Are you ready to say YES to YOU!
Check out the Spark Sessions, I designed them for women, just like you, to help them address burnout before it happens and commit to doing the work of making themselves a priority. Book a Call and find out if the Spark Sessions are exactly what you need!