Do you have a values filter?
A series of values you pass all potential decisions through to determine if they match what is most important to you?
For a long time I paid no attention to my values (not consciously anyway) and every time I chose to do something that went against my core values I felt uneasy, angry, resentful, stuck, lost, wrong. In those moments, where I chose to sit in the shitty feeling and decide that there (clearly) was a problem with my job, with that person, with something outside of myself…I felt less and less like my Self.
What I realized, (recently), was that I am driven by a set of core values and every time I (or someone else) behaved in a way that defied these values I felt a huge lack of authenticity. As a person who dealt mainly with my logical brain and often ignored my heart center or gut feelings, I had a tendency to miss the very powerful messages I was getting about situations that rubbed against my true way of being. I then chose to carry around negative feelings and stalled myself in a sense of uneasiness.
I unfortunately saw inauthenticity as something that happened around me, as opposed to something I was choosing not to pay attention to within myself. Every time I chose to participate in, be a part of, make a decision about anything that did not align with my core values, I was choosing to be inauthentic.
Wow, so all along I had the power to change my life and I was choosing not to wield it!
Being values driven is a journey…not a destination. We are continuously challenged, while trying to live our core values, by environments designed against them. Our journey begins when we identify our core values and is filled with moments where they are tested, bent and worn thin. And when you find that sweet spot, when you have traveled far and long enough, your decisions will no longer labor through your values filter.
You will find that all the decisions you chose to make along the way, that align with your core values, will have brought you to a place, a life, that honors you at every turn. The challenge to live by your core values will no longer appear difficult. You will have done some serious heavy lifting and will find yourself more in flow. (Sounds dreamy doesn’t it? It doesn’t have to be just a dream)
A little about the journey…it can be rough…it takes time for our values driven decisions to come to fruition. Specifically those that involve major life shifts (i.e. job change, relationship dissolution, redefining self). Strategies and support are crucial through times of transition. Seek out supports that align with your values and lean on them throughout your journey. They get you, are aligned with your greater purpose and are there to help!
Here are my Core Values,
(in no particular order)