I seem to keep writing different versions of the same problem lately…I’m stalled, things are off…oh forget that I am now the epitome of balance and hope…no wait scratch that I am sitting in the pit of death…

Today I am somewhere in between…completely unfocused. I was just watching a Facebook live of 3 women I know who were sharing the glory of an amazing mastermind group they are a part of…and as I sat there, I kept flipping back and forth between feelings of “I need to dive head-first into my work” and “whoa sista…slow and steady is what I can handle”.

I am torn between the idea that I’m rushing into my business and not going fast enough.

As I was doing my morning pages today (after a 2 day hiatus) and I contemplated a variety of ways I could get off my FB while maintaining my group and my pages and my engagement with my “friends”. Because the energy and time that I spend on Facebook truly feels unproductive…even though my intention and purpose when I log on is to engage and add value…most of my time I spend down a variety of rabbit holes.

 So I decided that basically I want to burn my fucking, life sucking, newsfeed and simply stick to the areas of Facebook that I can add value to and which add value to my life…

which if you haven’t guessed already is not done while zoning out and skimming through the lives of other people, and checking my notifications.

Yeah about that…

So I must have made friends with a few popular people on Facebook because about a month ago I started to get random friend requests…not the weird creepy kind, (although I did get a few of those) simply people like me looking to be or who are already established, entrepreneurs trying to make connections with individuals who may either turn out to be clients or potentially lead them to clients. When I get this type of friend request I do a quick skim and from what I see (or don’t see) confirm about 90% of the friend requests.

As a result I now have 275 more friends than I did a month ago. I know it sounds like a first world problem for an entrepreneur doesn’t it? Here is my issue…I’m overwhelmed now…and I struggle…in the same way that I get overwhelmed and start to get really anxious in a busy mall or overcrowded space…that is how I feel when I look at my newsfeed and my friend requests. I know as a business person I should figure out a way to leverage this newly found pot of gold…I just have no idea how and get overwhelmed by the options. And if you happen to be one of my new friends and you understand my discomfort then please reach out and let me know that you get me…I would totally appreciate that!

Okay someone please tell me I’m not crazy…

One of you has got to be a high anxiety introvert, who has decided to embark on a career that requires you to network with 100s actually more like 1000s of people you do not know on-line. And if you are my kind of introvert you can easily make connections with people, specifically those that get your brand of crazy and are happy to go deep into a fucking cool conversation right away. However when there are too many people the “real” people get lost in the crowd.

I know I am not the first to battle this particular issue…I know the answer lies somewhere in being “real” online, being true to my voice and as authentic as possible. It’s that without the human to human connection, where I can get a live sense of their energy, I constantly feel like I am being scammed, or bamboozled (oh fuck ya I just said that!). Is it because I am somehow not being true to my voice…or that I feel I can’t be?

Is it because I spend all my fucking time trying to get rid of the little red notification numbers that I can’t actually get any quality work done?

I feel like I am constantly cleaning up and can’t actually find the time to sit and do the work…(which btw is my ultimate real life procrastination method…I can’t get work done without a clean house…I guess FB is no different…) I can’t seem to put any work out there until I make sure all the “rooms” are clean and I have organized my world. Wow that is going to be a problem when I start to significantly increase my following. I want to consistently engage with the people who graciously offer me their time and I haven’t put much thought as to how I will handle doing so with the following I think I want.

Okay so how do I fix my Facebook crazy…Can I skip the newsfeed all together? Can I write my posts, engage in my groups, connect directly with new people and actually engage and focus on them in an authentic way? …I hope so because that is what I want to do.

Recently I was given a great word to ponder and I think it is going to be my word for the rest of the year…SYSTEMS.

What systems can I put in place in my business, my home, my job, my life to keep me focused where I need to be when I need to be, such that I have time for everything…including Netflix? I know that it may not feel like it right now but I have been given a gift. This time to reflect now at this stage of my entrepreneurial career, now when I have security of a j.o.b. I can take a step back and really do what is necessary to create the business of my dreams. There is a bright light on my path and I am meant to follow it. I will stop doing what I have been doing simply for the sake of doing and take the necessary time to focus on what actually works, for me and my business.

So that is what is on my agenda for the next little while…I might slow down my lettering, my writing and my posts so that I can focus on getting focused.

And if anyone out there has a system they would like to share with me I am all ears!!!!


All good things are rooted in love, laughter and learning!