Why, as she flaps her wings, do I feel compelled to stare, judge, wait, hold my breath and hope?
Why in all her glory does she double back and circle through what I was sure she had forgotten?
Why when all is white, full & lush does she drink the darkness and get drunk on the pain?
Why when all is open does she slam shut, douse her wings with gasoline, the strike of the match flickering in her eyes?
Why when all things pulse as one does she stray, looking for the beat of her own heart, lost inside her chest?
Why do we seek her out, ask her for answers unwritten on her soul, when we know the truth by memory?
Because there on the sidelines cloaked in doubt she feels for the truth & senses it deeply in the darkness.
Because knowing, with all ones soul, comes through pain and not without. Confidence is born of fear.
Because through the dark the light wills out and she guides us from behind, not pushing, not pulling…being.
Because the “why” needs answering, the how needs weight and the what must be treacherous for grace to be found.
Because it is exactly what we asked for, and would be different if we thought it was.
Because gifts offered freely are mistrusted and tossed, value and worth are earned … we have learned. Unlearning is new.
Now you know…
All good things are rooted in love, laughter and learning!