Like a slap in the face…the mom waking nightmare hit me…you know the one…when all of a sudden you realize how deeply your children imitate you and you see clearly the impact your personal decisions have on their model of the world.
It was a morning like almost every other…me spinning 100 to-dos in my mind, while sitting on the couch reading the 4th of an endless series of books they wanted me to read to them…I sensed my anxiety begin to pulse behind my eyes…wishing for the day when they could read to themselves so that I could get more done…
“Wait what the hell am I saying…just focus on this moment…let it be…things will get done eventually…ya but if I could just tackle that stuff in the kitchen now, I would have the afternoon “free” to get done that other stuff for that thing…Wait is this book number 5…Little Miss Busy. Oh shit!”
When was the last time you read the Little Miss. Little Mr books…I remember loving them…giggling at the funny shapes of all the characters and picking out my favourites to be read to me. I wonder, if when I was little, I read Little Miss Busy? Do you remember the story…let me refresh your memory…click here to hear the powerful short story of Little Miss Busy
And there on the first page, when my daughter learns that Little Miss Busy wakes up at 3am, she says the words that would cause my anxiety to whirlwind through rage and right into shame…”Mommy she is just like you!” A perceptive 5 year old…even though she is not up with me in the morning, nor can she tell time, she recognizes that 4:30am (when I wake up) is just like Little Miss Busy.
The most powerful statement made in this book and the reason I had to pull it from their library was that Little Miss Busy had to survive sickness to learn that she needed to learn to relax. I was (am) Little Miss Busy, I too needed to learn this lesson. I knew that until I could clearly model something different for my girls, or at the very least know that they no longer saw Little Miss Busy and Mommy as the same. Until I could clearly articulate for them that being busy was not a value set that would bring them true happiness, I needed to shield them(us) from it. Because what I know to be true is that, children are excellent mimics and terrible interpreters!
Are you Little Miss Busy?
Bustling through your day getting everything done, only to do it all again tomorrow and the next day and the next day… And like me (and Little Miss Busy) are you forgetting to live your life? Have you learned yet that your value is not dependent upon the number of checkmarks on your to-do list. That the love you receive is not dependent upon how much you do for people…That what matters is how much time you spend with others and most importantly how much quality time carve out for your Self.
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