This is a story of how the Elements of Authenticity came to be…
Stick with me…there are a quite few nuggets of wisdom in this long-ass post!
When I first started out on this journey of self discovery, one of the most profound things that happened was that I literally burst out from behind the cinder-block wall that had me imprisoned within myself… safe… guarded… paralyzed. And there in the light of day, I realized that not only was I capable of much more than I knew, I wanted to do so much more than I ever thought possible.
Actually it was very early on at around the 4-5 month mark that I literally decided to do everything (not just anything but everything) my heart desires. And in true “the universe has got your back” fashion, I was able to carve out time, find the energy, find the money and received overwhelming support, for everything I wanted to do.
Fast forward a year and a half.
Looking over the body of work I had created, the world I had re-invented for myself, I saw joy at every turn…and I realized one thing was missing, I couldn’t see the connective tissue. I knew that every facet of my multipotentialiteness was being expressed, however for the on-looker, my life looked pretty random, exciting and awesome yes, and scattered haphazard.
I knew that everything that I sunk my heart into was deeply connected to my inner self. To the part of me that functioned to serve a clear set of core values.
Here are my Core Values, (in no particular order)
Through the act of writing these down and reflecting on them often, I began to twist together the connections between all the parts of me. I clearly knew what I enjoyed doing, and I knew that I flipped back and forth from art to writing and from anxious to peace. No stage seemed to be permanent and yet always returned. From this work I slowly began to develop a framework, an understanding of the how and why I did what I did.
From the labor of reflecting, reconnecting and recreating my Self, The Elements of Authenticity was born!
(excuse the pun haha).
The Elements of Authenticity TM is the process by which, I believe, many of us move through on our journey from living lives built on the expectations of others to ones filled with intrinsic joy and authenticity. As we move through the four Elements of Authenticity we turn the ruts of our habits into the smooth grooves of our soul. Whether we know it or not we each move through these stages of growth. Often we find ourselves stuck at the between stages facing the fear associated with that level.
It begins when a change occurs, a shift, a transition, a loss or a gain. When we, the multi-hat wearing busy women lose a role, a hat, that we have been leaning on perhaps for years, and it causes us to experience a deep sense of loss (even when something great happens). The loss of identity, of the self we believed ourselves to be, can be a place we get stuck in for a very long time. I personally fought against the idea that I was no longer who I thought I was, for almost 20 years. Not until I settled into the Grounding state and was able to accept the change, could I begin to move through the Elements of Authenticity.
Once Grounded I was able to face my fear of the unknown this new self that I had accepted but knew nothing about, could I move into Movement and begin the learning and growing necessary to wrap my hands around this new space. There I could explore possibilities, pick and choose how I wanted to show up in the world and maneuver through the mass amount of information available and choose what aligned with my true sense of self, my most authentic self. This stage, element, requires a fine tuning of our intuitive skills. The capacity for discernment. Listing to our intuition will help guide us through it all to the next stage.
By facing our fear of failure with the strength and belief we gain in Movement we move into the Spark stage where we create and experiment with this new identity, sense of self-awareness. We practice failing and learn more about ourselves then we ever thought possible. We begin to develop a deeper sense of what is possible, and of what we can create, of the life we can create. Aligning with our innate feminine energy we are re-born more powerful and resilient.
This resiliency and willingness to stand in our power is what ultimately allows us to push past the last and, for many of us battling the Impostor Syndrome, most persistent fear…the fear of success and right into Flow. Why is the fear of success even a thing…When it’s just about us and facing our fears of the unknown and failure, we find a way to move through them without much fanfare. However when we choose to stand in our power and are willing to show up in the world for all to see…saying “Here I am world and look what I can do!” All of a sudden all the work that has brought us to this space runs up against our deepest limiting belief…I AM not enough…with the doozy of a caveat…and now EVERYONE will know!
The Element of Flow is not only something to aspire to it is a well deserved reward. Being in Flow does not mean that life is perfect or done. What it exemplifies is the fluidity of self that is necessary to move through the ups and downs of life with ease and grace. With a deep knowing of who we are, our values and drivers and conscious awareness of how we choose to show up in the world. Being in Flow is not easy and it is simple. Here we are able to let go of the external expectations that do not align with our most authentic selves and in doing so we free up time, money and energy to do more of what we love. Being in Flow is the state of JOY.
Can we stay in Flow forever? No because life has a funny way of changing and shifting all of the time. And change brings about shifts in our roles and sense of identity. The beauty of the Elements of Authenticity is that the more we consciously move through them, the less time it takes to get back in Flow. And the more often we shift and transition, let go of and align with the identities of our lives the more connected our roles become, ideally moving us to that moment when we no longer feel compartmentalized and begin to live our lives wearing only 1 hat!
That is what I want for all of us, to know that we can show up as ourselves in every facet of our lives. Sure the skills we use, the conversations we have and even the goals we define may differ between our roles but what stays true is our sense of self, our capacity to feel seen and heard by everyone we choose to have in our lives.
Within every turning point in the Elements of Authenticity there is the possibility of getting stuck and throughout our lives and in the different areas of our Selves we can be simultaneously be stuck at different points. Here is the magic, your awareness of where you are can literally be all that it takes to shift your momentum and propel you forward out of “stuckness”.
Your knowledge and awareness of the Elements of Authenticity can be all that you need to remind yourself that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Whether you are deep inside Grounding, Movement, Spark or Flow or moving between them facing the fear associated with that level of growth, knowing where you are and your ability to see past it is what I call comfort in the discomfort…”Oh I know where I am…and I know this is part of the process…I’ve been here before…I know I am headed towards positive growth…be patient, everything happens as soon as it can!”
I started on this journey because I could no longer deny the transition of my life that had been initiated 20 years prior and once I chose to accept and listen to my intuition I could finally take the steps towards the ease and grace of Flow that I had been so desperate for.
Through the development of this framework I have been able to clearly define my purpose in this world.
I know there are countless women in the world right now suffering. Not thinking their lives are of any interest, wondering what their purpose is. They see others with “passions” and desperately want to be them and resent them with every ounce of their being. They have no idea how they could ever find the time. They “know” no one will understand…
They “know” they will be ostracized, ridiculed and that their HUGE fucking secret, that they feel worthless, will be discovered.
They are telling themselves that if they just keep doing what they are doing, only better, then things will get better. Their children will start to appreciate all of their hard work. Their colleagues will genuinely see how hard they work and will take the time to acknowledge them…eventually. They believe that if they could just organize (and control) their home, office, friends, partner, children, community they would finally feel fulfilled and purposeful. They “know” that is what they are supposed to do …
And they know this because every person, every system, every organization, every magazine, every TV show & every commercial they have ever seen has told them so.
They are pushing the pain down, really, really, really fucking far. They are burying it under booze, Facebook, gossip, food, shopping & bingo. And every night when they go to bed the little voice whispers…
“I hope tomorrow is different, better…
not sure I can handle another “today”.
I know they are out there because that was (is) me and I know now, that I am not alone. You know this too. You know who they are. You know if this is you. And now I know that I was meant to take this journey, so that I could help fabulous women (like us) all over the world to truly align with their most Creative and Authentic Selves.
I am an Authenticity Expert…(what the heck is that?)
As a Mindset Coach and Creativity Mentor, I guide and inspire busy women (just holding it all together), to design authentic, purpose-driven lives filled with JOY, balance and wholeness.
Interested in experiencing your JOY BREAKTHROUGH?
Book in for a free Connection Call and let’s chat about where you are, where you want to be and how we can get you there!
All good things are rooted in love,laughter and learning!