For a very long time I felt deep anger at the idea that the world was set against me. I could only see all of the things I could never have. Money. Travel. Clothes. Health. I worked really hard at making everything right and making people happy, in hopes that things would turn around. And yet time and time again I felt like no one gave a shit or appreciated how hard I worked to make everything perfect.
I felt resentful, like I was being taken advantage of. I felt like so many of my relationships were one-sided and that I was putting in so much more than I was getting back. I began to blame others for how shitty it felt to be ignored.
“She obviously doesn’t care…
She is way to busy with her perfect life….
He is clearly doing this on purpose…
Why don’t they just…If they just…
When they finally…
Then maybe I will be happy.
Then maybe I will feel seen, heard, understood.
Maybe when they just…I will finally feel appreciated.”
And part of the vicious cycle is that if they did something that made me feel good, that validated my effort, just once… I would continue my Everything for Everybody behaviour, even step it up a notch, in search of their approval and validation one more time.
(For my friends that like to geek out with me…this is called operant conditioning and is a highly recognized and powerful psychological phenomena!)
This type of thinking is what caused me to give all of my power away. I believed for a very long time that I was a product of everyone else’s behaviour and blamed them deeply when I felt like shit.
I was so angry at the world, at them (at myself…anger I did not acknowledge for a long time) that I let myself sink deeper into my negative thoughts. I manifested unbelievable sadness that I honestly felt, was because of what other people did to me.
I let this anger rule my life.
I thought the world was set against me…and I was right. And when I didn’t acknowledge it for what it really was; anger at myself for choosing to give my power away, my body responded with pain, anxiety, depression and a people pleasing attitude that consumed me. What I thought was the outside world’s fault was really my own doing.
There is value in owning your anger…the key is to take responsibility for it and realize that you have the opportunity to stop giving away your power and stop being angry (at yourself and therefore others). When you do, believe me, you will experience something profound. Miraculously, when you take ownership of your anger, and choose to see yourself as responsible for how you feel, every single person in your life will behave differently, will be different.
If you want all the people in your life to treat you differently you must first be willing to think differently, to behave differently to be different.
It’s time to recognize that your anger and resentment for doing Everything for Everybody, can be stopped when you decide that you don’t need to be Everything for Everybody and you will STILL be loved and happy.
Don’t put your joy outside of yourself.
Choose to replace your anger with gratitude and appreciation for what you have and who you are in this moment. When you do your entire reality will shift and you will know you are coming home to who you are meant to be.
Ready to come home to who you were meant to be?
Then it is time to join the In Her Element Facebook Group. A group of amazing women who, like you, are tired of being rung out and left to dry. In there you will find the tips and strategies to move from Stuck to Start and gain access to the Break Free from Type E program. A a 90-day program designed specifically to help Type E women smash through the myth that they HAVE to be Everything for Everybody, and empower them to really make themselves a priority. This program is being offered to all In Her Element group members for 60% off the regular price…You don’t want to miss your chance to Break Free from Type E do you! Join In Her Element today!
All good things are rooted in love, laughter and learning!
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